Are we supported by beliefs that hinder us more than they help? Do you consciously realize what these beliefs are or do you still think you are immune to them?
For I tell you that most men keep these beliefs in the unconscious and hardly assume that they have them. And worse ... many continue to reinforce them by practicing old and evil habits.
Hence, in addition to telling you what these main beliefs and myths are, the idea of this article is to bring tools for you to evolve as a man and as a human being in your love relationships.
Throughout this article you will have access to several practical techniques to increase the connection, your pleasure and the pleasure of your partner.
The first of these tools are free video lessons prepared for you to know tantric connection techniques for couples:
Ready to open your head a little and have a critical but welcoming look at yourself?
So come on!
What are these myths?
Myths are like beliefs. Here we are dealing with stories that we tell ourselves about our love relationships and our sexuality. About what is normal and what is not. How are we compared to the average person…
Anyway. There are feminine beliefs that lead many women to feel guilty, frustrated and even depressed. And the same is true of some men.
Did you know that your sex education is mostly based on pornography? Or do you remember having an educational, lucid and mature conversation with your father, for example, about sexuality?
Unfortunately, that's where we get our references about sexuality. Pornography.
And that probably had very harmful unconscious consequences for the way we look at our body, our penis and the way we treat female sexuality.
Just to remember that these myths it's not me who's saying. These beliefs have already been studied and validated worldwide by big names in couple therapy and sex therapy.
These are 3 beliefs related to emotional attitudes and 2 beliefs related to sexuality:
Myth # 1 - Men should not express certain feelings
This is the famous "Man doesn't cry?"
Almost that. Crying is one of the things that man does not allow himself. But in general, talking about one's emotions and feelings and expressing oneself in an emotional way is somewhat forbidden in the male world.
Feeling vulnerable and exposing one's emotions are seen as "lack of masculinity" for most men. This creates a picture of emotional immaturity, isolation and loneliness for many men.
Research shows that men are the ones who kill themselves the most (suicide 4x more than women) and more are the ones who kill others (including their partners).
Many men end up turning a time bomb and end up seeking refuge in drinking, pornography or violence. In many cases this bomb ends up exploding on those they love most.
Learning how to release emotions in a mature and conscious way can literally save lives.
Men who learn to express themselves become healthier, less neurotic, happier and even more orgasmic.
Yes! More orgasmic! But that is a topic for another post.
Myth 2 # - Changing affection and opening up to other men hurts my masculinity
Affection and care among men becomes an increasingly urgent and important issue to be debated.
There is a tremendous fear of becoming less of a man, “looking like a fag” or losing masculinity when receiving emotional embrace from another man.
Male wheels rarely embrace deeper emotional themes.
In general, only money, football and superficial activities are discussed.
Man does not really open up to another man and often ends up not opening up to anyone.
That is why we live in an era where “post-broding” is increasingly necessary. Positive brodagem is that attitude of the male group, which instead of focusing on bulling, slutty, joke, focuses on care and resolute and mature partnership between men.
Women with so many accumulated functions still often have to be the emotional anchor of their partners.
Not that a man shouldn't open up emotionally to his partner. But an egregore of true friends, who is welcoming and who has an external view on her personal life, can give more precise advice and be a great way for you not to overburden your partner, who already has so many functions (mother, provider, owner From home).
A healthy discussion of masculinity needs to be cultivated in male environments. Men need to take better care of themselves without fear of hurting their "male".
The loving relationship only thanks!
Myth 3 # - To be the ideal partner, man must satisfy all the needs of his partner
A man who does not carry an authentic life purpose within himself and submits to all the desires of his partner is bound to be devalued by her.
This does not mean that the man does not have his family and domestic obligations. We live in an era in which the roles of men and women within a marriage and within a family are being reframed and matured.
Family duties should be divided in a mature way and can vary widely from relationship to relationship.
This also does not mean that in female opinions they should not be considered in decision making.
The question here is another.
This is about the need for a man find within yourself a purpose for which to live or die. And that purpose must be noble enough for him to make it a priority in your life.
A man without purpose and vulnerable to his partner's emotional outbursts is bound to live an unhappy and frustrating life.
David Deida in “The way of the superior man”Says that the female vibration, has a fluid character, alive and that resembles, many times to a sea, that in certain moments is revolted, with strong waves and that can bring down a fragile boat.
But a sailor who knows where he is going and is steadfast in his purposes has a better chance of navigating that sea and moving forward on his long journey.
Regardless of the emotional state of the sea, the sailor remains firm, knows where he is going and is aware that all instability is fleeting.
Myth 4 # - Man must always be ready for sex
There are those who will be reading this and bragging: “But this is how it is with me. For me every time is time ”.
It is okay to have a high libido. The whole point is overvaluation of a virility that is often impossible to achieve.
A man who believes that, but at a certain moment is not there with a strong desire to have sex, will end up having sex out of obligation.
It will force itself to “get the job done”.
But what if it fails?
A man who charges a lot of himself may feel very frustrated and from the first "failure" develop some sexual dysfunction.
Receive free video lessons with tantric techniques to give more pleasure and sexual satisfaction to you and your partner
It is not healthy for either men or women to force themselves to have sex.
It is unhealthy to demand constant virility from oneself that never lets down. We all have our ups and downs and we are not always “ready for sex”.
The same analogue point for women is when they force themselves and pretend to orgasm in order to “resolve the issue soon”.
Most of us are not fully aware of this, but we were almost all educated by the porn industry.
And it sells us a false sexuality, totally disconnected from practical reality.
What is learned is that men, to be real men, they must have a huge penis and an erection that lasts for hours.
Furthermore, it is taught that women take great pleasure in violent sex.
But female satisfaction and pleasure are connected to values very different from those taught in pornographic films.
Learn how to do the “yoni massage”, the intimate female massage, in a very detailed and super didactic step-by-step
Myth 5 # - In sex as in other situations what really counts is performance
Many men view sex as a performance sport. But healthy sex should be light, happy and spontaneous.
That is why most sexual dysfunctions in men derive from an exaggerated demand for performance.
Healthy sex is not necessarily one that the woman had 5 orgasms and that's it. Orgasms are most welcome, of course. But more important than them is the intention behind the relationship.
The focus on performance takes the truth from the relationship. It puts too much weight and an exaggerated demand for the result. Result-oriented sex can generate a lot of frustration and anxiety beyond measure.
Almost all men who complain of problems with premature ejaculation have some level of anxiety related to sexual activity.
But there is a way to live a vigorous sex, with intensity, but in a light, loving and much more pleasant way.
As a sex therapist I help men and women to awaken their orgasmic potential and live deeper and more true relationships.
To this end, I created with my wife the sexuality course and tantric massage.
A complete course with ancient tantric techniques associated with what is most effective in modern sex therapy.
And have no doubt: most successful relationships behind it is a relationship of deep friendship, intimacy, compassion and empathy. Nothing to do with performance-based sexuality.
The roles in which we place ourselves in our relationships, the masks behind what we truly feel ... All of this leaves us in uncomfortable situations, concerned and tense with what the other will think of me.
Get rid of these myths that sabotage joy and love and sexual happiness. The world is rapidly evolving and we, as men, need to evolve together so as not to suffer too much.