Low libido can be a major problem within the relationship.

If there is a dissonance in your libido, for example, when one has more libido than the other, problems of varying degrees of importance arise.

When one wants sex twice a day while the other is satisfied with once a month ... What to do?

When it is the man with the low libido, things can seem worse, since the penetration depends on him. While the woman can only lie down, and consent, even if she does not feel the desire to have sex, which is terrible, but it happens. It gets complicated when she doesn't want to have sex and the man expects a more active response from her ... Do you go through this?

These libido dysfunction problems always need to be examined carefully.

Most of the time, the problems stem from the communication and sexual technique that the couple uses, you know?

And it’s not us at Tantra Yoga Lab that’s saying it. These are conclusions of in-depth studies, carried out by doctors who were the parents of modern sexuality, as Masters and Johnson e Kaplan.

Those who have low libido, usually need more time or a partner with more skill, to respond to stimuli! The partner with the highest libido has to be calm, preparation and contain your energy a little bit. So, when the relationship happens, it will be satisfactory.


The Source

This dissonance can also hide psychological problems: the partner who has a lot of libido may feel insecure about the love of the other and therefore needs constant confirmation through sex or feels like having fair sex in a situation where the partner who has low libido is not in the mood.

In any case, each couple has its particularities and they need to be analyzed.

There is no problem if the two have low libido and do not charge each other accordingly.

Usually couples only seek help from some form of sex therapy when they have problems with this libido tune.

It also happens that low libido is part of the personality. Usually the person who has chronic low libido is usually indifferent to sexual activity.

She has no fantasies, she doesn't think about sex. This type of person is almost never excited.

Usually this lack of libido is very apparent in the personality. They are people who have a tendency to drink, to use drugs. They are often apathetic, without vitality ...

But a certain frigidity can happen suddenly in the life of someone who has always had a normal libido.

It may be a temporary dysfunction caused by depression, anxiety, psychological pressure, fatigue, disturbance in personal life, illness, pregnancy or disharmony in the relationship.

In the wedding

We can say that marriages that totally reduced sexual activity, are not very happy, but in these cases they do not happen so much because of the lack of libido, but because of the lack of motivation to collaborate with relationship and value this important activity within a healthy relationship and give way to masturbation or other solutions that take the place of sex.

The level of a person's libido and sexual activity is determined by many factors.

How is your psychological capacity?

Because it influences a lot on what you have been experiencing in bed. It may be that you have little contact with sexually active people or that you are in a more secluded phase.

Perhaps you have created the belief that your sex life has come to an end or you may have had a childhood subjected to repressive patterns that made you eliminate or ignore sexual excitement.

In the case of women, the vast majority were programmed to behave in a modest and chaste manner.

However, if they seek help, therapy can always bring these people to a more active sex life through erotic education.


Painful Sex

The problems associated with pain are common in both sexes. Painful sexual intercourse is called dyspareunia.

It is not an exclusively female problem, but less common in men.

Some complain of pain during penetration, and this can be caused by abnormal gland sensitivity associated with poor hygiene or infection.

It is also possible that the skin of the foreskin is small in relation to the gland, which causes pain when the gland is exposed.

Sometimes women may experience pain in the vagina due to poor lubrication. The most common cause is as a protest of the vagina for lack of adequate arousal or foreplay.

There may also be fear of becoming pregnant, anxieties related to growth in a repressive environment and traumatic experiences.

If the vagina is poorly lubricated, it can also cause pain in the penis, which does not slide into it easily.

Infections of the vagina (the most common is that caused by a small organism, the trichome, or by a kind of fungus) can inflame mucous membranes and alter the acidity of secretions, making penetration painful.

Sometimes, even after healing, the woman can associate the pain she felt at those moments with the sexual act.

Did you know that vaginal deodorants, ointments and creams can also affect the pH of the vagina, sensitivity and lubrication, causing pain at the time of penetration ?!

Women may also complain of pain after menopause. It is believed that this pain is caused by the contraction of the vaginal walls, due to changes in menopause.

In these cases, our Sexuality and Tantric Massage can help. It is a course designed for relationships to be longer and allow time for the body to release these hormones down.


There are varying degrees of Vaginismus, which are spasms and contractions of the vaginal muscles that prevent penetration.

It can affect the whole body. In the most extreme cases, the knees remain firmly glued, not even allowing an approach to the vagina.

When it is severe, penetration is almost impossible without using considerable force.

Vaginismus can originate from repressive education or sex-related trauma or disease in the vagina and requires sex therapy.

Couples with this problem usually give up trying to have sex.

Fortunately, vaginismus is not difficult to treat.

Many women can benefit from tantric massage techniques to deal with vaginismus. Because they are techniques that help to give a new meaning to touching the genitals.

They are loving, subtle touches that facilitate the opening and building of bonds of trust in the relationship.

Orgasmic Dysfunction

Many women seek sex therapy because they cannot (or have difficulty) reaching orgasm during intercourse without a certain type of manual stimulation.

Most women would like to reach orgasm thanks to penetration, at least a few times.

Research indicates that only a fifth of women are able to reach orgasm without the need for manual stimulation of the clitoris.

However, three-fifths need not only vaginal stimulation but manual stimulation of the clitoris.

Orgasmic dysfunction is represented by the woman who has frequent and serious difficulties in reaching orgasm by any method during sexual intercourse and perhaps also during self-stimulation and is not related to the lack of libido.

It has much more to do with the relationship with the partner, freedom of expression, limiting beliefs, crisis in the relationship… All of this is addressed in our sexuality online course


The word impotence comes from the Latin impotent, Meaning lack of power.

Impotence is the persistent lack of ability to achieve and / or maintain an erection sufficient for penetration.

Some men only have a full erection just before ejaculation. Others manage to maintain an erection during masturbation, but do not roll during sex.

20 years ago, Kinsey found that it affects one man in a thousand at the age of twenty, rising to twenty-five in a thousand at forty-five. But it is believed that today that number is MUCH higher.

Impotence has both physical and psychological causes. They often happen together.

If a man can have a good erection during masturbation, in dreams, when awake or with another partner, organic and physical causes can be ruled out. A neurological examination can eliminate the possibility of a brain disorder and spinal diseases.

Many medicines and drugs can cause impotence.

Psychological causes may be related to trauma or a childhood dominated by sexual repression, which is probably one of the most common causes.

Usually, the man had a repressive father or mother, who strongly condemned sexual behavior. The first experiences of masturbation were disturbed and associated with a sense of guilt and fear from the parents.

Hostility in the relationship (when the man unconsciously wants to punish his partner by denying him sex and the partner attacks him, criticizing his sexual performance), fear of pregnancy, illness, rejection, anxiety and fear that sexual performance will not satisfy the other, fear of losing the erection again, psychological pressure, overwork, fear that previously experienced diseases such as heart attacks will arise again, and also fear of premature ejaculation.

Sometimes the relationship cools and the couple is unable to get excited, to bring news to the relationship and the sexuality course it can be a great way to bring that freshness!
Impotence can also be associated with a limiting belief created by defective sex education, ignorance ...

Premature Ejaculation

Masters and Johnson consider a man to be premature ejaculator if he is not able to control ejaculation for an adequate period of time during vaginal penetration in a way that satisfy your partner, at least half of your sexual relations. (If the woman has anorgasmia, or other dysfunction, that definition is not valid.)

For example, the definition suggests that a man suffering from premature ejaculation comes within thirty or fifty seconds after penetrating.

Kinsey investigated the abnormality of this condition. He established that in the United States it is normal for men with low educational levels to seek orgasm as soon as possible after penetrating their partner.

Higher class men more often try to delay orgasm. Kinsey he added that three quarters of men reach orgasm within two minutes after the penis has penetrated, and that many ejaculate in less than a minute or even within ten or twenty seconds after penetration.

He examined other mammals in which the male ejaculates almost immediately after the introduction of the penis, and noted that this is normal in primates closest to man.

It only takes ten or twenty seconds for chimpanzees to ejaculate. What is true for one species is not necessarily true for another.

It is important to keep in mind that not every quickie can be labeled an early ejaculator; it may just be a lack of knowledge about one's own pleasure and about female pleasure.

No matter what the causes, premature ejaculation is associated with a lot of disgrace and ending marriages, when many times some classes could improve, and a lot, this situation!

Physical causes are probably very rare, but they should be considered in a man who becomes an early ejaculator after many years of normal sex. If it is your case, better to see a urologist.

If not, our Sexuality is also right for you! Your partner can learn to give you a massage that will help establish new neural connections in relation to ejaculation.

Blocked Cumshot

This disability is far less common. It happens when the man is unable to ejaculate in the vagina during sex. It can happen, too, during masturbation. It is the opposite of premature ejaculation.

Sometimes medications hypertensive and phenothiazines prescribed for psychic illnesses can affect ejaculation and be the cause of this delayed ejaculation.

Other physical causes are diabetes, diseases of the prostate or sores in the posterior urethra caused by gonorrhea, but all of them are uncommon.

Usually it has to do with the lack of libido, some difficult phase in life or even lack of creativity in sex.

When a man is unable to give himself completely, abandon his mind, he just watches, calculates and worries ... The recommended treatment is: sing, shout, dance or move convulsively.

A active meditation it is excellent in these cases.

In the relationship, a common problem can occur in those cases where the husband thinks the wife is dominant and controlling; it fuels these resentments and the result is a lack of sexual enthusiasm or a lack of confidence in the sexual partner.

From a tantric point of view, this dysfunction may have some benefits, such as the experience of dry orgasms, caused by Tantric massage.

Marriage problems

Marriage problems are often the cause of sexual dysfunction.

Discussions and disputes can simultaneously reflect and cause sexual disharmony.

Failure to communicate what they really want can lead to a lack of harmony, which is fatal for sex, at least, satisfactory.

Most couples who are unable to communicate their wishes, You're never arrive at the stages of excitement. They cannot tell each other how and where they would like to be touched, and yet they expect immediate sexual responses.

As we said above, there is dissonance in the excitement, when one feels excited and wants to make love, but the other takes an hour to prepare / excite. Afterwards, what has started is irritated or discouraged.

Some couples argue, fight just before having sex. The nerves on the skin, often followed by the relief of tears and forgiveness, end up replacing unsightly sex.

About female anorgasmia, Lobitz and de LoPiccolo found that women tend not to respond to sex therapy if they have a bad relationship with their partner, so we strongly believe that the Sexuality it can deepen the couple's relationship and as a consequence it facilitates the cure of many sexual dysfunctions.

Another cause of discord and conflict in marriage is the role of each of the two. Some fail to take on the male or female role that the other requires.

For this we use a therapeutic approach linked to Tantra, which is all based on the concept of Shiva and Shakti. We worked hard on this issue of female polarity and male polarity (regardless of sex) so that the couple can harmonize.

The big names in sex therapy also give some clues as to what ends with libido in the relationship: it is unshaven, not taking a shower, garlic breath or alcohol when the partner doesn't like these smells; being excessively fat or thin; smoking, taking off your hair to make love… What else? Comment down here.

Anyway ...

There are many sexual issues that affect both couples and single people.

The purpose of this article is just one more way that we found to bring more light to your sexuality and contribute to your reflection and individual search.

If you have identified yourself with any of these issues and want to know if we can help, please contact us, we will be happy to help in the best way we can.

Leave a comment below, contact us by whatsapp +351 915 451 456 or send us an email contato@tantrayogalab.com.


Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *